How to know when your loved one needs assisted living

Assisted living is not giving up independence, but rather empowering loved ones to perform daily living activities by offering an around-the-clock team to deliver support and encouragement. Some of the primary reasons families consider assisted living communities are for safety, socialization, wellness, nutrition, and daily living activities. Each of the factors influences the decision-making process; however, family dynamics can complicate discussions. 

The pre-conceived notions about eldercare are a challenging hurdle for many families. The goal is clear; everyone wants what is best for their loved one, but getting everyone to agree with what that looks like is another story.

The initial discussion about transitioning a loved one to a senior community can spark a plethora of emotions in an aging and beloved family member's loved ones. Often the discussion is preceded by months of mental processing and dread at the very thought. When the need for assisted living becomes apparent to the point, it becomes a discussion. 

It can open floodgates of self-doubt and internal disappointment. Family caregivers want to love and honor their loved ones, but the emotional and physical investment can be overwhelming. The difficulty or inability to meet the around-the-clock needs somehow leads to feelings of inadequacy, even shame.

The blurred lines between being caregivers and being sons/daughters are frustrating for even the most compassionate family members.

However, once you start noticing the following changes, it may be signs your loved one may need assisted living. If your loved one is experiencing repeated falls and reoccurring illnesses, this can be an early sign that they are losing self-care ability. Each hospitalization seems to result in an overall decline from the previous status. Fearing your loved one may be ill or injured for a delayed period before recognizing and providing aid is a heavy cloud loved ones live under. The dread of a phone call in the late hours and fearing the worst becomes a constant state. If elders care for one another, the inability to aid in an emergency is an unfortunate reality.

Another sign that assisted living may be needed is the emotional strain on family and family relationships. Families place their personal lives on hold to maintain the care and support their loved ones need in the home.

The worry and concern families carry for the safety of loved ones is a heavy load to bear. Forgetfulness can lead to all kinds of risks; unlocked doors, burners left on, wandering. Dedicated families may try to compensate by using cameras and phone calls to oversee and offer reminders to loved ones when recognizing the need to do so.

Assisted living communities offer well-trained caregivers and med-techs to provide early intervention to prevent illness and falls. Using prompts and cues, they remind loved ones to stay hydrated and use safe practices for transfers. The encouragement of a caregiver can mean all the difference in a resident's daily routine.

Human beings are born with a need for purpose, which is diminished by social isolation. Assisted living offers engagement and friendships with other residents and staff members. A well-planned activity schedule provides engagements of residents to look forward to. 

Live music and dancing is a favorite activity of most residents, and often families. And yet, simple current events discussions can be highly enjoyable and engaging for folks who like to discuss news and learn about changes in the lives of those around them.

In the home, loved ones often have limited contact with a few family members. This leads to depression and loneliness. Families have shared that this is one of their greatest challenges when a loved one lives alone or with their caregiving family member.

One family member explained that when his mom was living alone with him for nearly a year, she kept saying she was feeling worse all the time. She slept most of the day and experienced frequent falls. She went from using a cane to a walker. Friends and family were telling him that he just couldn't do this much longer. He toured several communities, but they didn't feel connected to their residents. The staff didn't seem professional or informed. When he toured our community, he was impressed by the connection's residents had with staff. He said, "I'm amazed at how wrong I was about life in assisted living. She needed so much more than I could give at home with my dog. As a special ed teacher, I knew she needed more, and I recognized this was a giant family."

Assisted living families are thrilled to follow the activities of loved ones on social media. They see them engaged in dancing, chair yoga, sing-alongs, and are blown away by how happy their loved ones are. It is heart-warming for them. And this helps reassure them they made the right choice for their loved one.

Wellness and fitness are powerful components of an engaging activity program. By offering classes that provide strengthening and range of motion, residents are healthier, and their endorphins and spirits soar. This not only gives better balance and strength but also reduces fall risk and improves self-image. This isn't easy to achieve in the home setting. 

Proper nutrition can be a challenge for loved ones at home. Loss of appetite and desire to prepare meals is diminished when living on their own. In assisted living, the dining room is a place to gather and converse while enjoying restaurant-quality meals. An on-site chef designs a crafted menu with precision, including a healthy balance of food groups in proper portions, with many options, so residents can select dishes they genuinely enjoy.

Activities of daily living can be a challenge for loved ones living at home. They may experience reluctance to shower due to fear of falling or loss of interest in self-grooming. It may take hours for them to shower, brush teeth, fix hair, and get dressed. This often results in them opting out altogether.

Whereas in assisted living, with a little support from caregivers, they can get ready in a relatively short amount of time and then look forward to gathering with other residents and enjoying their day.

If you're considering assisted living, the time may be now. Research communities and find one that fits your loved one and your family. Tour the communities in your area to determine their reliable programs, and the staff is well-trained and compassionate. When visiting communities, talk to the residents. Ask them what they enjoy about their community and why they chose to live there. Talk to the staff who are delivering care and ask questions. They should be experts in their field and will light up when they talk about their residents.

The decision to choose assisted living for your loved one doesn't have to be overwhelming. Find a community that will partner with you in the transition and ongoing care of your loved one.

Let our family care for yours!